Waiting for the woman… Grotty, The Bunker

“You’re only free of this if you meet someone special… but that’s unlikely.”

If the purpose of theatre is to enlighten and broaden the mind, then Grotty does just that. It doesn’t quite tighten the ball-gag in your mouth and slap a dog collar round your neck, but it shows you a lonely sub-culture of torment and terror that is heartbreakingly close to home even for a middle-aged male reviewer.

The publicity sells it like it is: “Welcome to the desert. The London lesbian scene. A couple of little sad old basements that drip with sweat and piss…  The women in black… They are not nice girls. But this is not a nice story.” It’s a world of diminishing returns, a sado-masochistic scene that eats itself as the women gradually work their way around, overlapping and gradually “crossing each other out”.

I’ve no idea if this is the case as I’ve known many people who find their equal and engage in more hugging than thrashing and the more extreme forms of penetration. There is a thriving BDSM sub-culture – or so my hairdresser tells me (seriously!) - but I’ve not seen it. She makes it sound like an adventure but for the women in the play it’s a mask for deep physical and emotional hurt.

The darn talented Izzy Tennyson (Courtesy of The Other Richard)

It’s not all punishment and deliberated perversion though, some of the girls are in it for the love but it seems that our main character Rigby (played by the remarkable Izzy Tennyson who also wrote the play) hasn’t found that path and instead is being passed from woman to woman, a 22-year old lost in grief and unable to function emotionally. Tennyson is a quirky, very physical performer, often bent over, face contorted as she forces out her lines… reaching out desperate hands as her character longs to just touch someone with words that just can’t carry enough meaning.

At the start of the play she is seeing Marian Toad (Rebekah Hinds) who is nice up to a point but keeps the cruellest of company in the form of Natty (Anita-Joy Uwajeh) who through jealousy or sheer spite, constantly rides Rigby; “banter, the evolution of playground bullying…”

Toad dumps her by text, the latest blow to Rigby’s almost non-existent self-esteem but at least she has a genuine pal, Josie (Anita-Joy too) to build her up so that she can be demolished all over again.

Next in line is a severe tattoo artiste, Fern charmingly called The Witch (Grace Chilton) a dominatrix in “shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather…” (thanks Lou) who wants Rigby to be her dog (thanks Iggy) offering her more and more outlandish sex toys under the guise of a joke but all the while looking to take her pleasure in more extreme ways.

Rebekah Hinds, Izzy Tennyson and Anita-Joy UwaJeh

The Witch once dated The Toad and Rigby feels almost like a conduit between the two, caught in between their sexual pride… there's a battle going on and she's on the front lines.

By now we’re wondering just why this girl is putting herself through so much misery… she only wants these women to show her affection and to hold her tight and yet must endure Fern’s almost poetic description of the luxury of punishment. Then, as Rigby says; “it’s actually a lot easier being an experience rather than a person…”

There’s some light relief as Rigby takes way too much cocaine - waaay, too much - and heads off to a party. She strikes out with one cropped-haired girl and shouts after her: “let me know when your sexuality catches up with your haircut!” … that’s one to cut and keep for later!

She also meets a quietly-spoken straight girl called Elliot (Grace Chilton again) who is not perhaps as straight as she thought… Yet somehow, Rigby contrives to let her slip through her fingers… for the moment. She needs validation “… everything would be so much better if I only had more followers on Twitter...” and things would clearly be better if she went for the girl in the bush rather than the one with whip in hand. But there’s another woman, one who has left a deeper impression on Rigby than anyone else…

Grace Chilton and Izzy Tennyson (Courtesy of The Other Richard)

Skilfully directed by Hannah Hauer-King, who uses the four sides of The Bunker’s stage space to move her performers around, Grotty is indeed grubby but not without hope and lighter moments. This is a completely alien world and yet the feelings and experiences within it are ones we all understand.

Izzy Tennyson (who also wrote Brute, Runts, Career Boy) has crafted a memorable character and one we really root for. Rigby is indeed the "relatable" lesbian that director and playwright have noted is usually absent on stage and screen. That she exists in such ostensibly extreme cultural circumstances is a triumph of the production and by the end we just want her to be happy.

There’s super support especially from Grace Chilton who’s “Witch” has her own demons whilst she is transformed as Elliot.  Anita-Joy Uwajeh takes the biscuits with three roles and Rebekah Hinds’ Scouse accent is 9/10 as the brassy Kate, Rigby’s straight-mate.

Tip of the hat also to Clare Gallop but I can’t tell you why… you’ll just have to see for yourself.

Grotty is on at The Bunker until 26^th May and tickets are available from the BoxOffice and online. It's not easy but it is very much worth your attention and time.

IThankYou Theatre Rating **** You won't forget these characters in a hurry. Be kind out there.

Drowning but waving... Not Talking, Arcola Theatre

“If I don’t want to tell anyone, it’s up to me, right?”

This is a play where dialogue and narrative runs cross-cross between four characters through time and space. It’s a four-player exercise in setting up divergent paths to the same conclusion and, as such, engages audience hearts and mind and before we know if reconfigures our expectations in a dashing last flourish.

Of course, Olivier award-winning writer Mike Bartlett has written for Doctor Who (as well Doctor Foster, King Charles III, Albion and more) but there’s no time-travel in this his unperformed first play, just very smart structure and scripting. As Bartlett says in his programme notes, having two narrators for the same story makes the audience complicit: who do we believe and what is the truth? We try to pull the strands together and having four very different characters we’re stuck between establish-able fact and our favoured narrator/narrative until the options narrow and all is resolved.

It’s mathematical and it’s musical and the kind of play we all wish we could have written in our early twenties. There’s a particular piece from Chopin which links the narrative and, becomes a critical means of expression when words fail…

The play opens with two older people, Lucy (Kika Markham) and James (David Horovitch) reminiscing as the former plays Chopin. They are talking but not at or about the same time - they remember things differently and to them they still are even though they have no real means of transacting in the truth. James has always found talking easy and as a boy found it difficult to understand the idea of being reticent of “tongue-tied”… James sees himself as settled and yet there’s a – literally – unspoken gulf between him and wife Lucy.

Kika Markham

Lucy has never recovered from her daughter Mary being still born and it has broken down the core of their marriage: not for the first time, she plays her way out through Chopin.

Meanwhile… young squaddie Mark (Lawrence Walker) is pumped full of the adrenal gratification of being part of the army; guns to fire and orders to follow… a purposeful existence in which decisions are made for you. He sees Amanda (Gemma Lawrence), another young recruit at an army social and tries to engage with her on the dance floor… The His and Hers versions of this process are very funny – if only we had access to such intel eh lads?

But things will take a sinister turn and in Mark’s innocent confusion, the unravelling realisation will shake his relationship to the core.

Bartlett’s Grandfather had been a conscientious objector in the Second World War and, at the same age at the time of writing, he was inspired by this as well as reports of institutional bullying in the Army. James is a committed Christian and takes the highly-principled and painful stance of being a “conschie” at the start of the War but Lucy even knowing he needs her to stay proud of him, just couldn’t…

Gemma Lawrence, Kika Markham, Lawrence Walker and David Horovitch 

60 years later, Mark is under orders not to speak about the sexual assault he has witnessed and takes refuge behind these commands even though the subject of the assault is Amanda. With comrades and officers all against her, all complicit and some directly involved, she has no escape and, with something to say but no one to say it too, she simply shuts down and plays Chopin on the piano.

Back in the War Lucy discovers that James is having an affair with a woman called Susan… she starts playing piano every day when James comes home… unable to verbalise her response she lets him know through music and routine. He stops the affair but this will not be the end of it.

Secrets held for decades and a sexual assault covered up by the military what could possibly tie them together? I strongly suggest you get a ticket for yourself and find out.

Not Talking is intimate and casts a spell over its audience by pulling them in to its intricate mystery.

It’s superbly performed by an exceptional cast not least Kika Markham who is so powerfully febrile as Lucy, a woman for whom hanging on in quiet desperation has become almost a comfort. In turn you hang on her every word for meaning and yet the words are even then undermined by deft contrapuntal expression. The same goes for David Horovitch; entirely subsumed in the character of the worthy and ultimately very worthwhile James; these people are genuine and good they just need to find their answers.

David Horovitch

The Two Lawrences are full of fire – Mr Walker’s Mark prowls in confusion in search of real meaning in his life whilst Gemma’s Amanda has her trust thrown back in her face yet still won't deny herself the chance to connect...

The four interact in variable couplings and James Hillier directs with purposeful precision – this must have taken a set square, ruler and a lot of note paper. It must have taken negotiation and a lot of talking...

Not Talking plays at the Arcola until 2nd June – tickets available from the Box Office or online. It's another quality production from Dalston and, along with Moormaid, the Arcola has two of the best Spring indie productions in London! Book with confidence!

Ithankyou Theatre Rating: **** Thoroughly engaging and intelligent theatre that sneaks up and grabs you!

Photo Credit: Lidia Crisafulli

You’ve got to be in it to win it… Worth a Flutter, Hope Theatre

OK... Lucy Pinder bursts into the room wearing a kilt and playing the lead character’s very Scottish manhood… it has to be said, you don’t get moments like this very often in the theatre!

Michael Head’s play is crafted from his own experience – maybe not all of it, maybe even not “Hamish” – but it rings so true we were laughing as much with recognition as anything else. It’s a very honest play and told straight to audience and in the Hope’s intimate playing space, you have to really mean it to carry it through.

Michael plays Matt, a semi-professional gambler who’s engaged to the glamorous Paige (Lucy Pinder who has the most a-mazing hair!) mostly because Beyoncé encouraged her to hold up her hand and waggle her ring finger. He met Paige just as she vomited on his £100 shoes and ended up rescuing her from over-indulgence all the way to breakfast.

His best mate Paul (played by the irrepressible Paul Danan) seems to be spending a lot of time with Paige. He’s one of those blokes we all know; every class has one and “every convertible with the top down playing “urban” music, in February…” has one too. He’s the kind of man who doesn’t have to try to enjoy shallow relationships with girls although he did once have a Black Monday in the 90s when he didn’t even get a kiss.

Paul Danan, Michael Head, Clare McNamara and Lucy Pinder

Head’s writing is full of joyous lines that are a gift for this cast and they come thick and fast along with inventions such as Matt’s Caledonian c*ck and a horse race between the worst things to say on a first date including: “do you think I’m fat?”, “I love you” and “you’d make a lovely father”. The cast instantly switch roles for these set pieces and it works because we’ve all said such things even if the country of origin for our privates may vary.

Matt convenes at a café in Bermondsey with Paul and Paige and he’s clearly looking for a way out for, despite her glamour, Paige is not what you’d call a thinker – “like Dumb forgot to brief Stupid” but, as he tells Paul, “you don’t sell your motor if you ain’t got a bike.”

The waitress, Helen (Clare McNamara) is instantly at odds with Paul’s arrogance and Paige’s alpha posturing but takes more care over Matt… there’s something there. One thing leads to another and he has a coffee, the others leave, and he arranges to see her for a drink. Promising you think, and indeed, despite of the interruptions of her elderly neighbour (Mr Danan with a walking stick) the two spend the night together.

The next day Matt’s all aglow and has perhaps said something he shouldn’t in his enthusiasm… Helen is reticent and, this schoolboy error aside, we don’t know why. But then the play wrong foots us as another man enters the café called Sam (Jack Harding who I’d last seen in the excellent Foul Pages). There’s two sides to every story says Matt and we’re about to hear the other one. It won’t turn out well for everybody.

Paul Danan and Michael Head

Sam starts the second act blinking into the lights, he’s not as funny as Matt but his awkwardness soon reveals his backstory and his relationship to Helen.

He’s married and struggling to connect with his beautiful but distracted wife Emma (Ms Pindar again) the two barely listening to the other, something driving them further and further apart.

He’s come to Helen’s café to take counsel from the only person he can think of, office Brent, Martin, a salesman with “the moral compass of a stag do in Ibiza” who’s only advice is bad advice and entirely based on his own experience. He recommends a one-night stand to Sam and, inspired, suggests that Helen would be ideal for various non-flattering reasons.

Sam’s unsure, he’s always unsure, reaching out to find himself after years of compromise – but then both men are. Helen’s response is going to be slightly different to her experience with Matt and the play is very nuanced in this respect… it will all come down to a metaphorical boxing match between the two which is as funny and well-wrought as the horse racing.

At one point Matt wonders if there are any heroes in the play, they’re only ordinary men after all… but if anyone is it’s probably Helen as we learn more about the reasons for her sharp tongue – she is absolutely brutal with Martin’s old sauce and gives better than she gets from Paul’s posing. I’ll have a coffee and bacon roll in any café she’s working!

The Big Match: Jack Harding, Clare McNamara and Michael Head

Jonathon Carr directs smoothly and uses every inch of the Hope as the characters wheel around on horseback, in boxing shorts… in kilts! There’s a great spirit amongst the cast and crew – the Hope positively thrives on hard work and team-play!

The cast are clearly enjoying themselves and Clare McNamara is a superb slow-burner as Helen and her gentle expression is compelling and touching; real tears well up in eyes that light up with a smile. Not everyone can do this and she’s spectacular.

She’s not alone with Michael Head narrating his own words emphatically – likeable and real – whilst Jack Harding wins you over even as you’ve just been rooting his character’s rival. Paul Danan – damn him – is obviously likeable even as a rogue whilst I must commend Lucy Pinter on her debut stage performance; she’s very funny as well as convincing as the flouncy Paige, the bookish Emma and as Matt’s Scottish friend…

Tip of the hat also to Lauren Flynn on lights and sound who smashed it helping us to really believe in the Bermondsey!

Worth a Flutter runs at The Hope Theatre from 1st May to 19th May and tickets are available from the Box Office and online too: it’s another hit for The Hope and a big hearted, generous, spirited play.

IThankYou Rating: **** Rings so many bells it could be Christmas; see it for some great wordplay and committed performers. And, believe me when I say that “The Scottish Play” will never be the same again…